Jokes Ko Poh^_^!

LAUGHING TIME

^_^ ^_^^_^

Dearest Girl:

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Monday, the 20th of Sept, 2008.
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 20th of Sept, 2008 at 1000 hours,
I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of six (6) months and depending on compatibility would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.

Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.
However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 15 days of receiving this letter, failing which,
this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.
I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.

Yours sincerely,

Boy

Regards

***

Cup of Tea

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.


Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I

brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several

cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of

tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure

enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.


Then she says, (as only a mother would know.. :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?

***

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with u, I should just keep quiet & crochet a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only 2 precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him 2 times in all those years of living & loving. He almost burst with happiness.

"Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."

***

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an olympic size pool.

'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.'

'Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed

***

In Memory of all those who love their bosses !

A guy phones up his Boss,
but gets the bosses' wife instead.
"I'm afraid he died last week."
- she explains.

The next day the
man calls again and asks for
the boss. "I told you" the wife replies,
"he died last week."

The next day he calls again and once more
asks to Speak to his boss.
By this time the wife is getting
upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY
TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND,
YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
He replied laughing,




"I just love hearing it..."

***

#1 HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
(written by kids)

*You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

*No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10



#2 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10



#3 HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8



#4 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8



#5 WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10


#6 WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9


#7 *WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8


#8 *IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9


#9 HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T MARRY?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........
#10 HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

***

Once upon a time in a place overrun with monkeys, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, they became harder to catch, so the villagers stopped their effort.
The man then announced that he would now pay $20 for each one. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

But soon the supply diminished even further and they were ever harder to catch,

so people started going back to their farms and forgot about monkey catching.
The man increased his price to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so sparse that it was an effort to even see a monkey, much less catch one.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for $50!

However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.

While the man was away the assistant told the villagers.
"Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has bought.

I will sell them to you at $35 each and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

They never saw the man nor his assistant again and once again there were monkeys everywhere.


Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works

***

A blonde gets home early from shopping and
hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" she asks.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the
phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"

The blonde slams the phone down and storms
upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor.

You rotten "Bitch", she screams. "My husband's
having a heart attack, and you're running
around naked scaring the kids!!"

***

More Jokes upon REQUEST^____^